


Dirty Snakes Chat

by TheUltimateUndesirable



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blow Jobs, Chatting & Messaging, Dirty Talk, Drunk Blow Jobs, Flirting, Gay Sex, Good Slytherins, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Muggle Technology, Muggles, Non-Canon Relationship, Online Friendship, Polyjuice Potion, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, Sexting, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Smut, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 07:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20093446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUltimateUndesirable/pseuds/TheUltimateUndesirable
Summary: WARNING MATURE ADULT CONTENT. A different kind of fic. Probably kind of odd. What happens when 2 wizards come across each other in a Slytherin fan fic chat? Teasing? Banter? Corruption? What will happen when they decide to meet? What could it mean for the chat itself when things start happening? No clue but my group chat will figure it out for us!RECENTLY UPDATED FORMAT because Im completely daft and didn't realize the rich text option which I think is crucial for being able to decipher this fic properly.....yay for being a prat!





	1. Chapter 1 - The Chosen Heir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JK Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter. I make no money from this and am simply enjoying myself while friends have encouraged to publish so they can keep track of progress.
> 
> WARNING MATURE ADULT CONTENT
> 
> Side note: Not a English major, it's no where near perfect yada yada. Don't like dont read yada yada. Grammar errors yada especially since people talking in chats just ramble without care for punctuation and such. I tried to catch and fix most of them but it wasn't a top concern for me.
> 
> A/N: So this fic is almost a mutually created one. I just happen to be the main writer piecing it and the idea all together. You may find this fic super weird. Why? Because it is based on a real Slytherin chat I am a part of. Minus Draco’s and Harry’s involvement we are all real, our nicknames included. My group literally had this conversation to create it and I copied every single thing. Took forever and OMG the want my head to explode headache I got at the end from trying to play 3 personalities at warpspeed to keep up with chat messaging. I so wish I could insert some of the gifs and all the smutty pics that were sent LOL it was hilarious!

**A/N: Don’t crucio me for not doing well…..anything these last few months. I have no abandoned anything. I’ve had some medical issues progress I’m not ready to discuss. But I’m feeling the focus/creativity coming back and I’m working on it I promise. But creativity comes as creativity comes and this is a product of that. **

**A/N 2: So this fic is almost a mutually created one. I just happen to be the main writer piecing it and the idea all together. You may find this fic super weird. Why? Because it is based on a real Slytherin chat I am a part of. Minus Draco’s and Harry’s involvement we are all real, our nicknames included. My group literally had this conversation to create it and I copied every single thing. Took forever and OMG the want my head to explode headache I got at the end from trying to play 3 personalities at warpspeed to keep up with chat messaging. I so wish I could insert some of the gifs and all the smutty pics that were sent LOL it was hilarious!**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

  
  


** _Dirty Snakes Chat_ **

** _-Ultimate Undesirable added Evan James-_ **

**Evan James: ** Hi

**Dirty Locket: ** Fresh meat already? Didnt we just add one? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Nah it's been a while actually. I think. Or was Pervy the most recent? 

**Dirty Locket: ** I think it was? Or there was the one girl that left maybe 10 minutes later

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** they always bail so quickly

**Pervy Pureblood: ** cause bitches cant keep up with us

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** Im looking forward to breaking in our newbie

**Evan James:: ** figure what out? 

**Dirty Locket: ** Oh honey, you have no fucking idea do you. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** he is probably fucking daft

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** you'll see! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** How are we going to break him in? Ships? 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** thats a start

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** yea what ships do you like?

**Evan James:: ** ships? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** how the fuck does he not know what ships are? 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** Oh boy this is going to be fun! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** why are you even here if you dont know what ships are?

**Dirty Locket: ** it's who you pair together from HP. Ultimate Undesirable is a Drarry shipper. Bella loves Bellamione. I tend to jump around. 

**Dirty Locket: ** Pervy what are your ships again? 

**Evan James: ** Drarry? Bellamione? You mean like…...Draco Malfoy and Harry? Bellatrix LeStrange and Hermione??? 

**Dirty Locket: ** yup!

**Pervy Pureblood: ** psh like you don't know my ships

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** look at him putting the pieces together! 

**Evan James: ** bloody hell….umm. No clue how to take those? 

**Dirty Locket: ** awww that gets you uncomfortable? $10 says he doesnt last the night.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Team Drarry. But it's always fun reading Snape or Blaise paired with Granger. 

**Evan James:: ** -wide eyes- 

**Dirty Locket: ** Thank you Pervy! 

**Evan James:: ** umm okay I guess……

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** you cant be in the chat if you dont do ships or fics

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** How I love Bellamione! The visual of them two drive me crazy! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** do you even read? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** warning she really is crazy

**Evan James:: ** LOL you all are crazy

**Dirty Locket: ** Seriously Ultimate Undesirable has an amazing library. She can find just about any pairing. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** he has a brain. Woo! 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** ugh but it is soooo much

**Dirty Locket: ** he has at least one working cell. We havent established if all of it works. 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** -crashes in like I would in a normal chat room- 

**Dirty Locket: ** GUYS THERE IS A NEW PUPPET PAL'S VIDEO!!! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** nice of you to join us Newt

**Evan James:: ** puppet pals?? That created a crazy visual

**Pervy Pureblood: ** maybe he is a bit pervy after all

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** mandrake was keeping me busy

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** understandable 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** if he thought of dick puppets I agree on the perv potential. Wearing on their cocks and hanging out. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** dude that image is horribly in my head lol get it out!

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** is there anyone here that doesnt ship drarry? It's the most feasible pairing in the entire series. 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** like Bellamione isnt feasible? 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** though I admit Dramione is still up there for me. Imagine a pureblood with a mudblood. 

**Evan James:: ** definitely NOT feasible!!! 

**Evan James:: ** hard pass! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** dont start with her on Bellamione. I've tried. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I think we all have

**Dirty Locket: ** absolutely feasible! I'm not the die hard fan Bella is but it gets me hot and bothered! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** how dare you Heir!!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** yeah I gave up arguing that one months ago

**Dirty Locket: ** trust me she'd devote everything to Bellatrix in a heartbeat. Kind of sweet. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I cant believe you dirty!! 

**Dirty Locket: ** you’ve been in the chat long enough to know just about anything works me up. Except for the ships that shall not be named -shivers- 

**Evan James:: ** fine. Final word. Gag. 

**Evan James:: ** So dramione. Draco and Hermione right? 

**Dirty Locket: ** aww now he has 2 working brain cells. 

**Evan James:: ** ships that shall not be named?? I dont even want to know. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Nope.

**Dirty Locket: ** So you ship Dramione Evan? 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** I can show you fan art! 

**Evan James:: ** I dont know. Ive never read fic. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** why the sudden interest? This is a fic chat. 

**Evan James: ** curious? 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** there is a thing called google. Use it. Smut for dayssss.

**Evan James: ** is there any…..trio stuff? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** of course there is, not usually with Ron though 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** thank Merlin

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** mostly Harmione 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** even if you haven't read fic youve read the books and seen the movies. There have to be some pairs you like together. 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** ohhhhhh trio? Someone wants to play! 

**Dirty Locket: ** eh ive found trio+Draco before. That was a weird one. 

**Evan James: ** No! Bad visual! No! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I think I just puked. 

**Evan James:: ** Same mate. Same. 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** I still have a favorite Snape, Harry, hermione. 

**Dirty Locket: ** Trust me in HP everyone can be shipped with everyone. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I do love the Snamione+draco one. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I got on board with that

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** I still need to read that one.

**Evan James:: ** Snape??? Oh fuck this is just barmy

**Pervy Pureblood: ** awww so cute

**Dirty Locket: ** wait which one? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Teaching Miss Granger

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** sooooo hot

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** Snarry though...I always forget about that one. 

**Evan James: ** SNARRY?! 

**Evan James: ** actively puking now

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** Oh i agree Heir it's disgusting

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** for harry it’s Draco or no one. 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** Dont even get me started on Ginny

**Evan James: ** why is draco only for harry? 

**Evan James: ** Ginny isnt so bad

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Ginny is an annoying trollop

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** GINNY IS WORSE THAN RONALD!

**Pervy Pureblood: ** so true. Fucking ginger bitch. 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** Weaslette. Ugh. 

**Dirty Locket: ** If we are talking Weasleys give me the twins any day. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** LOL stole my word Newt

**Evan James: ** umm i'm gonna have to pass on all things Weasley

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I repeat. Drarry dude.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** just break out the good smut. Some from the Drarry. I need a good wank. 

**Evan James: -** shock-

**Dirty Locket: ** Oh come on! Fremione isnt that weird! Could totally happen! 

**Evan James:: ** well for Hermione sure. But harry? No. That's like a brother situation. 

**Dirty Locket: ** Agreed Perv

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** I always have good Drarry for you all

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** #drarry4life

**Pervy Pureblood: ** all things Weasley are gross 

-dirty pic- 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** tongue action! Yes please! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Good start 

**Evan James: ** …...

**Dirty Locket: ** Oh come on Pervy there has to be at least one Weasley youd let in your pants

**Pervy Pureblood: ** NEVER! 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** oh come on heir dont be shy

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** just show him more

**Dirty Locket: ** never say never dear

**Bella’s Sex Slave: ** -hot gif- 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** the anticipation! 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** is this where he bails? 

**The Chosen Heir: ** how the fuck did they make that?

**Bella’s Sex Slave: ** -magic gif- 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Magic LOL 

**Dirty Locket: ** -magic gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** hahahahaha

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** great minds think alike! 

**Dirty Locket: ** we spend way to much time together lol

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** being in this chat as long as we have we definitley think alike! 

**Evan James: ** I admit…..that Daniel and Tom make it awful hot in here….

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** I'll share more! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** fucking truth

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -hot gif- 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** hot damn! 

**Evan James: ** If i wasnt awake before I am now.

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** even I get hot looking at that one! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** come on I need some dick

**Evan James: ** how does someone look at that and not get hot? Look at it! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic-

**Evan James: ** you think harry would top? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I go back and forth

**Dirty Locket: ** Harry is a total top from the bottom. Mouthy but not dominant enough

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic- 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** that's a new one! 

**Evan James: ** I can agree dirty…..mostly. 

**Dirty Locket: ** Mostly? 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic-

**Pervy Pureblood: ** ohhhh yea. See? Harry would totally take it like dirty boy. 

**Evan James: ** you dont think he would fight for top? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** No. He is a puss. Totally likes being pushed around in the bedroom

**Dirty Locket: ** Thats where being mouthy comes in. He would fight. But wouldnt win. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I dont know. Depends. I see both. 

**Evan James: ** he would still win even if he let Draco win

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** Riiiight. He's a bloody gryffindor. Is he even capable of being that cunning? 

**Dirty Locket: ** plus its established he is one of the least perceptive people ever

**Evan James: ** didnt it say he was almost put into Slytherin?

**Dirty Locket: ** almost is the key word there

**Evan James: ** takes a lot of cunning to talk an ancient magical hat to not sort him where he was suppose to be

**Pervy Pureblood: ** another key word. Hat. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** are we sure that wasnt cause the horocux? 

**Dirty Locket: ** all he said was “not Slytherin”.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** he was meant to be in Gryffindor 

**Evan James: ** but over time he would have taken on some of those traits from Voldermort a little.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** eh 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** okay forget the Gryffindork details. Back to smut please. 

**Evan James: ** smut? 

**Dirty Locket: ** yes please

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** the dirty pics

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** yes please! Less talking more drooling for all of you! 

**Evan James: ** im so confused. Everyone here likes all the gay guy stuff? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** duh

**Pervy Pureblood: ** well my dick isnt hard for no reason

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -fluffy pic- 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** -fluffy pic- 

**Dirty Locket: ** I'm more of a people in general are hot type. Guys, girls, any variation there of. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** DICKS

**Evan James: ** Cool. I mostly like guys. 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -make out pic- 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** we all got freak flags dude. Wave em high here.

**Evan James: ** I think Im starting to understand how pervy got the nickname

**Pervy Pureblood: ** it's called i like most also. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** serious perv

**Pervy Pureblood: ** fuck the passion. Thats a good one regardless.

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic-

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic-

**Evan James: ** yea thats pretty hot

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** -goofy pic- 

**Evan James: ** how the fuck could you read that? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** seriously Daniel in that Bella!! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** things called eyes

**Evan James: ** hahahaha

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** -fluffy pic- 

**Bella's Sex Slave** : -smut pic- 

**Evan James: ** speaking of eyes

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** oh like that do you? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** we are suppose to be scaring him not admiring an art gallery Newt. 

**Evan James: ** i dont know. Im getting on board with this whole drarry thing. 

**Evan James: ** not sure you can scare me

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** challenge accepted

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** which is your fav? Harry or draco? 

**Evan James: ** both 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** no

**Pervy Pureblood: ** no

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** one or the other. Mine is Draco

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Draco

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -12 smut pic dump- 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** fine. There. 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** draco darling

**Evan James: ** I guess Draco is hot...and the sassiness…..stirs something up inside me.

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** atta boy

**Pervy Pureblood: ** good boy. He knows. 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic- 

**Dirty Locket: ** -12 pic smut dump-

**Dirty Locket: ** there a little bit of everything 

**Evan James: ** -gasp gif- 

**Evan James: ** some of those are terrifying 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** yea but others? Fuck me silly. 

**Evan James: ** which ones? 

**Dirty Locket: ** awww you can be scared! We didnt even have to break out the hagrid/creatures stuff. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** of course that uphillart. Harry getting gropped. So hot. 

**Evan James: ** please for the love of Merlin I beg you no. 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** fine since no one gives a fuck about bellamione i will treat myself! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -4 bellamione pics- 

**Evan James: ** no no no. 

**Dirty Locket: ** yes yes yes.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Im aiming for a wank here

**Pervy Pureblood: ** and it died

**Dirty Locket: ** then just ignore the ones that domt apply to you love 

**Evan James: ** LMAO like you were actually getting hard anyways. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** you mean you werent?

**Pervy Pureblood: ** -personal dick pic- 

**Evan James: ** hmmm **...** thought you said it died huh?

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** hot damn P! Over due! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** -smug gif-

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -smut pics- 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -smut pics- 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** fuck me yes

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** they are so perfect together

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -smut pics- 

**Dirty Locket: ** I hate dom harry but fuck that one is hot 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Harry is the one needing tied up 

**Dirty Locket: ** -smut pic- 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** I feel like Draco would like it sometimes 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** maybe but it would be his secret.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** of course he would

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** wait where did Heir go? 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** probably getting off 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -smut pics- 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -instagram pic- 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Merlin I still can't believe Tom ships it. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -tom talking pic- 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** makes it even hotter thanit already is

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** so agreed

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic- 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** nothing beats getting your ass ate before a good bj

**Pervy Pureblood: ** come on. One more good one girls. 

**Dirty Locket: ** -uphillart smut- 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** just looking at it makes me want to groan LOL its to good 

**Slytherin’s Ass: ** -running away gif- 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** fucking spent man. That one always sends me over the edge. Dravo on top. Harry rubbing them together like that….merlin.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** did H finally bail? LOL 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** Manny come back! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** he will be back. Even as the only “straight man” here

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** I have a pic that will drive someone crazy! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pic- 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** that was aimed at me! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** bingo! 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** heir will be back. Maybe not to night. To embarassed probably.

**Evan James: ** sorry im back. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** aww he is still here

**Dirty Locket: ** have a good wank? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** im suprised

**Evan James: ** maybe

**Pervy Pureblood: ** im impressed 

**Dirty Locket: ** i like him

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** wooo! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** which pic did it for you? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** his wasnt as good as mine though 

**Evan James: ** I dont know and doubtful. They all did it. Just the idea of Harry and Malfoy. The actors. The pictures…...kind of overload. I didnt expect it. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** how did you not expect it? 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** just one more and it will be amazing! 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -Tom gif-

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -Dan gif-

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -smut pics-

**Dirty Locket: ** dan just doesnt do it for me

**Evan James: ** what happened to ONE more? Trying to get me hard again? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** always

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -snape always gif- 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I fucking love them both

**Evan James: ** dans ok but tom…..sex on a stick

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** he is indeed

**Pervy Pureblood: ** i like them both also 

**Dirty Locket: ** I mean tom is hot as fuck. Would fuck him in a heartbeat. Dan id prefer to hang out with. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** what she said

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** well i guess dan might take more than a heartbeat. But tom? Any second. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** id fuck them both any second

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** get it pervy

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** its cause he is a horny bitch 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** like youre not? 

**Dirty Locket: ** pics if you do please! 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** muahahaha 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** How could i let my ladies down? You know id be videoing that shiy. 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** that should be our motto in here

**Dirty Locket: ** love you pervy! 

**Evan James: ** how could you record yourself having sex and share it? 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** fuck yesssss youre the best! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** love you too.

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** Heir is just so innocent 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** because i have balls and its hot as fuckto watch. 

**Dirty Locket: ** I mean the recording part is easy. It's called a tripod. 

**Evan James: ** I dont think I could watch myself…..or share it.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** you either suck in the sack or havent had a good fuck. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** we will watch for you Heir and give feedback

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** it helps your self esteem, and trust me. Rewatching is hotter than the first time. 

**Dirty Locket: ** I mean there is only 1 way to find out. After all you and Pervy are both in the UK.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** do you have a boyfriend? 

**Evan James: ** no

**Evan James: ** wait we are? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** quit whoring me out! First manny now him! 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I will always whore you out.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** what can i say? When you tease us with dick pics of course we want to see it in action. 

**Evan James: ** whoring him out? To me? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** yea or you, him and Manny can meet up. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Im game.

**Evan James: ** fucking someone you met online??

**Dirty Locket: ** people do it everyday dear

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** if it is a three way i REALLY need pics and video! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** umm yea? Easier than finding some dirty trollop on the street. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** isnt that how tinder and stuff works? Basically swipe to fuck apps.

**Evan James: ** ive never used that? 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** dont worry i havent either

**Dirty Locket: ** did you not try a bar first pervy? Did you just jump straight to dirty hookers? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I will not answer that LOL 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** high class hookers with that pureblood title right? Lol

**Pervy Pureblood: ** thank you Newt. You know me. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** high class is the only way.

**Newt's Naughty Niffler** : only the best for pervy

**Dirty Locket: ** so that's a yes. You jumped straight to hookers. Lovely to know.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** you know it! LOL

**Dirty Locket: ** he's the one who said dirty the first time. Not high class.

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** well the dirtier the better! 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I dont mind a little dirt. Just not STD dirt. 

**Dirty Locket: ** -go on gif-

**Evan James: ** well no STDs here

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** obviously perv dont be stupid! 

**Dirty Locket: ** Even high class hookers get STDs. That's why you wrap it before you tap it. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** So confident eh Heir? 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I know i know. Save the lecture. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I treat it like a dog kennel. Show me your paperwork then we can fuck. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** thats cause you're weird. 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** hey it works. Dont have to pay for hookers and free of STD proof. 

**Dirty Locket: ** you know I cant help it. If i have to give one more “ziploc baggie does not equal condom” speech I’ll kill someone.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** wow. Only you would mention saving money.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** ON SEX

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** I've no joke requested papers before.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** thank you! Now shut up perv!

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** I mean most of my sex is free minus the emotional baggage they usually have. 

**Dirty Locket: ** I made my boyfriend go in with me and get tested before we fucked. No clue what his ex brought home to him and I aint risking shit.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** emotional baggage isnt worth the sex

**Evan James: ** so you dont ever have an emotional connections?

**Pervy Pureblood: ** its called a shag. Not a relationship. 

**Evan James: ** I guess. Even those i just shag I know a little first.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** I vote shag and ditch them 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** no more relationships for me

**Dirty Locket: ** so what exactly are you into newbie?

**Evan James: ** what do you mean? Is this basically a sex chat for Harry Potter lovers? LOL

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** he is into boys, he/we have made that clear lol 

**Dirty Locket: ** gay/bi/straight, dom, sub, bondage etc.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** pretty much heir

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** for the most part. Were horny af around here. 

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** its called the CHAMBER of Fanfic for a reason! 

**Evan James: ** definitely guys. Ive tried being with girls before…..just not really my thing. And im not sure. I cant say I've experimented much.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** poor blokes never had any fun

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** we do vent and talk to one another here and let out whats pissing us off and stuff. So there is that. Not just sex. Or even just HP.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** bondage is the way to go 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** well read a drarry or 3. That should help you figure out if youre into BDSM. 

**Dirty Locket: ** seriously rope is amazing. Try it once and you wont go back. 

**Evan James: ** im sure im more sub. But it the right mood? Suck me bitch LOL 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I cant imagine our little shy boy being all dom

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** yea i feel sub

**Dirty Locket: ** so switch leaning towards sub. I can dig it. 

**Evan James: ** switch?

**Pervy Pureblood: ** merlin he is so innocent

**Dirty Locket: ** someone who both tops and bottoms. 

**Slytherin's Ass: ** I like ropes.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** and Manny finally speaks 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** who doesnt like ropes??

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** well Manny when are you 3 meeting up? You and Heir need to experiment. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Im glad im elected the gay leader here and being whored out again LOL

**Dirty Locket: ** I feel like ¾ of us here fall on the LGBTQ spectrum somewhere. 

**Slytherin's Ass: ** I need to meet up with pervy and heir?? 

**Evan James: …….**

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** yes

**Dirty Locket: ** yep. Hell we will even book the flight for you if you video

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** yessss

**Pervy Pureblood: ** I will let.you top the most if you're nervous. Nothing beats a tight ass Manny.

**Slytherin's Ass: ** Alright Im down. 

**Slytherin's Ass: ** I will destroy you both. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** you can try mate. You can top and either Heir will be the bottom bottom or he can suck me like he's desperate for a drink. 

**Evan James: ** why do I feel like I'm being whored out also? Lol

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** because you are

**Dirty Locket: ** cause you are

**Evan James: ** fine whore me out then 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** see that Pervy?? He is ready for you!

**Pervy Pureblood: ** not ready enough 

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** he will be whimpering for more when you're done Im sure P. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** you know it

**Evan James: ** try me LOL

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** I mean i will know when you send the videos……

**Pervy Pureblood: ** and im the perv LOL

**Pervy Pureblood: ** so what do you say James? Ready to learn what a real shag is? 

**Evan James: ** umm…..

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** -anticipation gif-

**Pervy Pureblood: ** aww he is scared

**Evan James: ** you wish dont you

**Newt's Naughty Niffler: ** -scared potter? Gif-

**Bella's Sex Slave: ** -HP you wish gif-

**Ultimate Undersirable: ** What do yall think? Evan here worthy of a nickname? 

**Evan James: ** Some may call me the Chosen One. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Chosen One? Oh please. You seriously want to be the Chosen One? 

**Evan James: ** Like Pervy Pureblood is any better?

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Trust me. He is a snobby perv. It fits.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** -glare-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Well you are! Between you and Ultimate I don’t know who is worse! 

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** How about heir? This is a Slytherin chat after all. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** I think it is a bloody brilliant one.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** The Chosen Heir it is! 

**Pervy Pureblood:** Psh like he is worthy of the title Heir. Heir’s are not chosen, they are born. 

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** I like it.

**Dirty Locket:** I think it’s good!

**Pervy Pureblood:** Of course you all do. 

**Dirty Locket:** It’s not our fault you never like any of our ideas! Why don’t you ever suggest any? 

** _Ultimate Undesirable set Evan James nickname to the Chosen Heir. _ **

**Pervy Pureblood:** Fine give away the title of Heir to some newbie.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** He didn’t even know what ships or smut was! How do we know he isn’t just some muggle who thinks some of the actors are smashing as hell?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Not our fault the actors are hot. Not to mention just the sheer description of their personalities. Combine that with a hot ass body and superb acting and wham. Sex swamped brain. 

**Pervy Pureblood:** You’re just naughty that is what you are. What do you think they would have to say about that? 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** They could always just shut me up. 

**The Chosen Heir: ** How would any of us know if we are muggles anyways? This is the online world. We can be anything we want here. 

**Dirty Locket: ** Simple. It’s determined by knowledge. If you don’t know anything about HP you are a muggle. If you only know what the movies show you are a mudblood. Only what the books say makes you a half blood, and if you have read and watched it all you are a pureblood. 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Then you have the hardcore purebloods who go even further by digging into online articles, theories, places like muggle dot net or fandom wiki. 

  
  
  
  
  


**The Chosen Heir:** So you’re not a muggle eh? How exactly do you plan to prove that one? 

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Muggles aren’t around here!

**Pervy Pureblood:** You claim to have went to Hogwarts right? And you’re not a Ravenclaw so riddles may not be your strong suit….

**The Chosen Heir: ** you got that right.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** LOL and muggles have access to more than I care to admit…..so how about a question? 

**The Chosen Heir:** Go ahead then

**Pervy Pureblood** : What statue is beside the prefects lavatory?

**The Chosen Heir: ** Which one? 5th floor? Boris the Bewildered. 

**Bella’s Sex Slave: ** There is only 1 prefects bathroom.

**Pervy Pureblood** : Interesting answer I admit. 

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Who taught us apparation?

**The Chosen Heir** : Twycross. There are also 183 staircases including the quidditch stands, as well as the outside stairs up to the castle and down to the greenhouses.

**The Chosen Heir** : Are you convinced yet? How do I know you arent just some squib?

**Pervy Pureblood** : I’m curious to know if that would matter to you. 

**The Chosen Heir** : Admittedly no. But entertain me. The silver key is behind where? 

**Pervy Pureblood** : That yappy old wizard always blabbering about the stars. Usually the north star. 

**The Chosen Heir** : Wow. 

**Pervy Pureblood** : Indeed. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** -eyes emoji-

**Ultimate Undesirable** : I’m not seeing anything about the quidditch stairs or a silver key on fandom dot com. 

**The Chosen Heir** : No I read it in a book I got from…...Orlando? That’s the city right? 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Orlando? Awesome! Which shop? When I go I want to get one. I mean info not on fandom dot net? The knowledge I must gain!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** Samesies! 

**Private Messages**

**Dylan Blamore:** Aaron McFirmore?

**Evan James** : Wizards Worldly founder. Who are you? 

**Dylan Blamore:** Can you not read? 

**Evan James** : I’m not daft. We aren’t allowed to use our real names online.

**Dylan Blamore:** Why do you need to know? 

**Evan James** : I want to meet you. 

**Dylan Blamore** : Oh really now? 

**Evan James:** Yes. Saturday. 8pm at the Three Broomsticks.

**Dylan Blamore** : No. 

**Evan James** : Why?

**Dylan Blamore:** Giggling teenagers annoy me. 

**Evan James** Fine how about this muggle place I know. Flash Night in Cardiff? I don’t like going into London a lot. 

**Dylan Blamore: ** I still don’t know. 

**Evan James** : Why? Are scared I won’t like you?

**Dylan Blamore** : Don’t be daft. If you like me here you will love me in person. I just don’t care to parade myself around for gawking eyes. 

**Evan James** : It’s a muggle place. They won’t pay you any mind. I go to it often.

**Dylan Blamore:** I want to use poly juice. 

**Evan James** : Okay. If it will make you feel better. And if goes good we will what? Reveal ourselves or continue using poly juice? 

**Dylan Blamore:** We can decide later. No reason to make plans for something that isnt certain. 

**Evan James** : Sounds good. We need a way to recognize each other though. 

**Dylan Blamore:** Simple. We can both wear Slytherin shirts.

**Evan James:** I dont have any Slytherin shirts.

**Dylan Blamore:** Wtf is wrong with you? 

**Evan James:** Sorry. I havent exactly found a need to. 

**Dylan Blamore:** Some house mate you are. 

**Evan James:** I have a Hogwarts shirt. How about that? 

**Dylan Blamore:** : Fine, I may have one stuffed away somewhere.

**Evan James:** Brilliant. Tomorrow at 8pm? Flash Night at the bar counter? 

**Dylan Blamore:** See you then. 

**Evan James: ** I look forward to it. 

Harry pushed his laptop away with his eyebrows still raised. Moving his glasses to the side he rubbed his eyes and processed all that had happened over the last 10 hours. It was like a whole new world had just been discovered to him. A world of muggles accepting and loving the wizarding world….and him. His story. When George had first mentioned checking out social media on Wizarding Worldly he was apprehensive. But soon enough Hermione had joined in on the nagging talking about how he needed to “socialize more” and that “it was just muggles”. 

According to Hermione a good portion of the muggle world was beyond accepting of the idea of a wizarding world after the small breach of secrecy. So good in fact that the ministry had saw it fit to not intervene. The group of muggleborns were now currently residing in Azkaban but it hadn’t seemed to post any issue surprisingly. 

He thought it could be interesting. See if what Hermione had said was true. It was a good chunk of his life being broadcast across the world after all. So far it had proven a fair bit of fun. Seeing all the muggles so passionate and worked up about it. Sorted into the houses, knowing loads of information no muggle should know. Joining pages and groups. Discovering meme’s he had got sucked into for hours due to sheer ridiculousness to down right hilarious and true. 

Now though some how he managed to met a real wizard online. How? Very few people had the money or desire to go about the process of ward altercations, enchantments, transformations, and wiring to install internet and allow electronic devices to work on their property. But he had now. He had met a real wizard. Not just one of the obsessed know it all muggles. That went to Hogwarts and everything. A for real. Wizard. That knew the things that no muggle would know. 

Harry chuckled to himself and shut his laptop before standing, cracking his neck and walking to the corner where Harona stood on her owl perch. The corner of his mouth raised in a gentle smile as he smoothed the light gray feathers down her neck and pondered the unknown of his world. “It could be fun? Couldn’t it?” he asked the owl for reassurance, but she merely hoo-ed at him and ruffled her wings without interest. .

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2 - Pervy Pureblood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JK Rowling owns all rights to Harry Potter. I make no money from this and am simply enjoying myself while friends have encouraged to publish so they can keep track of progress.
> 
> WARNING MATURE ADULT CONTENT
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Hidden identies and poly juice potion
> 
> Side note: Not a English major, it's no where near perfect yada yada. Don't like dont read yada yada. Grammar errors yada especially since people talking in chats just ramble without care for punctuation and such. I tried to catch and fix most of them but it wasn't a top concern for me.
> 
> XXXXXXXXXXX

When Harry apparated into the alley he instantly ran his hand across his chest smoothing out the fabric of his old Hogwarts shirt yet again. It was an alternative Hermione had taught him instead of constantly raking his hand through his hair. It didn’t provide the same satisfaction with the new short and brown hair from the man he had chosen to appear as. For him the whole day he had been a twitchy bundle of nerves. The last 2 nights he had done nothing except get caught up and lost with the liveliness of the chat. The playful banter they all shared, the carefree vibe and fun. The support and entertainment. 

It was just to much fun he could still hardly believe it was real people. It wasn't even physical contagious group laughter that was keeping him smiling, but he was having some of the happiest days than he had had in a long long time. Harry had also began to wonder if the chat was how the Slytherin dorms would have been like should he had been there in school. If so they had a hell of a lot more fun than any other house on a regular basis.

Then of course there was all their odd celebrity and Harry Potter dirty talk which usually resulted in teasing and playful flirting between everyone. It was weird to hear their names and personalities said and suggested in such ways but he loved how much the muggles loved it. He had to admit many of the conclusions they had drawn in regards to their ships he had never once considered or given thought to now, suddenly made sense and shed a new perspective on some of his previous school mates.

It also seemed that himself and Dylan were just drawn to flirt and banter with each other specifically almost as much as Manny and Newt. Both of which were only crazily encouraged by the rest of the chat. Probably him and Dylan more so. A few good wanks had been the result of those steamy conversations. Especially when they got crazy and decided to share what they called their “smut”, which also seemed to include a cock picture from Dylan towards the end. Nothing he was going to complain about. 

Harry still couldn’t believe how well they got on, and it may have been that fact alone that truly made him nervous about meeting the man in person. He had not a single clue to who Dylan really was. Obviously he was a Slytherin and the same year which added to the nervous energy. Throughout school he had pretty much avoided Slytherins like the plague and knew very few of them, especially by name. While he wouldn’t regret his actions at the time he was more than willing to look past any house prejudice now and observing them in their own world, a virtual room full of only Slytherins, had created a little more understanding on how they were when relaxed and not on the defense…..and he liked it. 

Taking a deep breath and wiping his palm on his trousers Harry turned the corner of the alley and headed for the front door of Flash Nights just a few steps down. Upon entering the main eating areas were as bright and warm as always, while the dance floor to the left of the bar was alive with color and activity. Muggles dancing and laughing through the thrill of a song. Then the bar was a low on light just like normal. While he couldn’t make out much detail of the occupants on the far side he could easily make out the forms of the ones closest to him. Letting out a breath Harry scanned the room once more and walked towards the bar.

There weren’t many others sitting among the bar. There were plenty of nearly empty glasses indicating that many of the dancers had probably had their fill. Trying not to be obvious and awkward about it, Harry took a step to one side, and then to the other. On his left the Hogwarts crest popped out of the black shirt amongst the more trendy and bright patterned clothing around them. 

From the back he was able to tell it was a young man with long sandy brown hair falling just below his shoulders that wore the shirt. He admired the filled out body and height for a second but shook his head slightly from his observations when he remembered this wasn’t Dylan’s true form. Walking slowly to him, Harry took a deep breath. 

“Much better than the north star eh?” Harry asked casually sliding into the seat next to the man. For a second he wondered if this was indeed Dylan at the way the man glanced over from the side of his eye before cocking his head at an angle. 

Then the man smirked before taking a drink of his beverage which appeared to be a glass of wine. “I admit I didn’t spend much time there in my later years. I’m sure the few 7th years brought about a good party.” 

Harry sighed with relief. It felt like the worst part was over and he made himself more comfortable at the counter. “Can’t say I spent a lot of time there either. I was pretty...preoccupied as well. I had a couple housemates drag me off a few times after some quidditch games.” 

“You played?” the man asked curiously.

Harry chuckled and tore his gaze from the brown eyes that focused on him. The idea of him having not played quidditch was absurd. “Definitely. I…”

Dylan quickly cut him off with a hand in the air. “Considering we were in the same year I think revealing position could be a bit of an admission. Don’t you think?” 

Harry turned a little red. “Suppose you're right.” He paused a second. “Did you play? Or do you like professional quidditch?” 

The man scoffed. “Of course I played. How people get through Hogwarts without some form of physical outlet I will never know. Maybe by the time my kids go to school they will have managed to establish a decent duelling club.” 

Harry raised his eyebrows. “You want kids?” 

“In an ideal world. A world where Puddlemore wipes the field with the Harpies faces,” Dylan said as he waved the bar keep over for a refill. 

Harry took the opportunity to order a pint of his favorite Guinness. “Oh I dont even think so. Harpies are pretty solid. Especially when Ginny Weasley joined the team.”

Dylan shook his head casually but clearly disagreeing with him. “Please. Weasley is nothing special. I will forcibly admit she is good but not good enough to make a huge difference.” 

“Well they won last year now didn’t they?” Harry pointed out.

“Only because that prat Thomton broke his damn arm in the finals,” the man huffed. “He was the best seeker the pros had seen in years. I was livid watching that one.” 

Harry smiled in agreement. “Thomton is a bloody brilliant seeker. I bought his old gloves signed last season at auction.”

Dylan cocked an eyebrow at him.“Seriously?” 

“Yea I collect quidditch stuff. Seekers I always like to go for their gloves.”

At that the sandy haired man raised his eyebrows in interest. “Do you have a large collection?” 

Harry shrugged. “I only started collecting a couple years ago so not that much, but Ive come across some pretty cool stuff.” Taking a large drink Harry decided whether or not to make the offer. ”Maybe I will show you sometime.” 

It took a few seconds for Dylan to respond which made Harry question if he had been to soon to make such an offer. But finally he spoke softly. “That would be nice. I’m afraid my collection isn’t as catching as quidditch. I collect art.”

“Art?” Harry repeated.

“Art. You know. Paintings, portraits, sculptures, fine jewelry and so on.” 

“I know what bloody art is you wanker,” Harry laughed. “I just didn’t expect it that is all.” he pressed his lips together thinking. “Can I make an assumption?” 

“I suppose so,” Dylan answered. “Although I may be inclined not to answer.” he added.

“Pureblood?” Harry stated more factually. Slytherin. Nickname. Fine art. Jewelry. His mind couldnt help draw the conclusion. 

The other man chuckled. “Okay you are daft. Pervy Pureblood. Figured you would have understood the name. I’m a perv and Im a pureblood. It works and the group loves it. Can I ask your status?” 

Harry shrugged carelessly. “I have a better question. Does it matter?”

Dylan stared at his drink and swirled it around seeming to contemplate his answer. “I admit it may have mattered to me at one point. But now?” he sighed. “Hardly. I’m in an online chat of muggles socializing daily. One of the most disgraceful things a pureblood could do. Befriending muggles. Let alone using their technology. I expect to be properly disowned any day really.”

Harry smiled at the man’s admission of what seemed to be honest feeling. “I’m half blood.” 

Dylan laughed at the revelation. “Apparently I should have protested the nickname heir a little harder then eh?”

Harry laughed equally into his drink and time began to fly by with ease as the conversation seemed to take on a life of its own. While Harry didn’t have the taste in art that this man had he had to admit he enjoyed listening to the passion behind the words and he was fascinated to learn the man not only brewed potions for hobby but had a guilty obsession with muggle snow globes.

“Aright alright I can see the boredom on your face.” the man finally stated as Harry traced his eyes. He couldn't help but imagine what the real ones looked like but he was still listening. 

Harry shook his head sitting down his 4th pint of beer. “Not at all actually. I love listening to you talk. You’re passionate.” The man blushed and Harry's smile grew wider. “I do not understand how you like that wine though or have a cellar full of the stuff.”

“You just haven’t had the right kind yet. Privilege of a pureblood. Enough wine to keep me drunk for life and the some. Extra bonus if it gets me through those tossers at the ministry.” 

“Issues with them?” Harry asked.

“Not really. There was for a while…...but I’m a good boy now. Mostly anyways.” Dylan smirked with a wink.

It was Harry’s turn to blush now and turn hot as he had no clue how to respond to what registered to him as such a suggestive statement. “I….yea. Yea I’ve had a few run in with them also. Worked for an auror for a while but it didn’t work out for some reason. Actually a lot of reasons.”

“Good. Last thing I need in my life is a bloody auror and their high and mighty personality nit picking over everything good and bad.”

“Don’t worry,” Harry nudged Dylans elbow with his elbow a bit. “I look at the world as grey. The world has good and the world has bad…..but a lot of it’s mostly in the middle. That mentality is one of those didnt work out being an auror reasons.”

“I like it,” the man smiled. He finished off his glass of wine and checked his wrist. “Fucking hell. It’s nearly midnight mate. I have a potion I need to see to in the morning.” The man stood up tossing some muggle money on the counter as the barkeep tending to a highly intoxicated party just over from them. “This one’s on me,” he winked again. “Come on, walk with me.” 

They walked out of the pub side by side and Harry bit his lips when the man held the door open for him. Harry nodded to the right towards the alleyway. “That’s where I apparated in.” And he walked down and turned the corner into the dimly lit walkway hardly more than 8 ft across. Dylan’s footsteps eched behind him and revibrated off the walls turning his nerves back on.

“I uh,” Harry stumbled to find the right words as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously and turned around. He had been on very few dates, most of which were Ginny in charge, and never with another man. What was suppose to happen now? A handshake? A second date? 

Dylan saved him the overthinking by surprisingly capturing his lips with his own once he had fully turned. Harry sighed into the kiss. It was an unexpected relaxed breath of fresh air kiss that drew him in closer to Dylan’s body. He couldn’t care less what the man really looked like as long as he held him the way he was now. As long as he continued to caress his face with the same firm yet tender feeling. Harry leaned into the man’s strong hand and found himself deepening the kiss as Dylan’s tongue explored the depths of his mouth. 

He didnt really know what was happening at this point. From chatting to saying good bye, to a full out snog fest in an alley. But regardless Harry couldn’t resist pressing their bodies together and as he did they both hissed when their groins rubbed together. It gave him the shivers. He had gotten off plenty to the images and ideals of another man but touching one this way was its own world. 

Apparently Dylan took it as some kind of signal to create the friction again with the slightest roll of his hips until they were both panting. Harry was probably panting more at the realization he was creating the arousal of another man.. 

Maybe it was the Gryffindor boldness. The excitement. The confidence of their growing lust. But whatever the reason Harry found his hands sliding down, up, and back down the mans tone chest and stomach until they reached the edge of a leather belt that he grasped. Forcing more energy into their kiss to gain just an ounce more confident he slipped a hand into the man's pants. 

Harry grinned as much as he could as Dylan continued to ravish his mouth through a sharp inhale once his hand grasped around the hard shaft. It didn't feel very much unlike his own and with a few test strokes the man began taking deep breaths between kisses. “Bold are we?” Dylan asked softly. “Surprising,” he whispered before regaining his determination to snog him silly. Harry took the comment as a compliment, which paired with his buzz, easily inflated his courage more. He could do this. Harry squeezed the cock before removing his hand to begin fiddling with the man's belt. 

Dylan moaned at the lost of contact and momentarily hesitated their kisses before regaining his focus once more, but it was only momentarily when he registered what Harry was doing. 

“Wait wait,” Dylan pulled away breathlessly and rested his head and back against the stone wall. Harry watched as the man drew his wand and threw some spells around him. Probably a disillusionment and silencing charm. Turning back Dylans eyes met his in an intense and challenging way that gave Harry goosebumps. 

“You've never been with a man?” he asked seriously still flushed from the excitement. Harry shook his head. “You’re more submissive leaning?” 

Harry shrugged a shoulder. “I mean yea if that's what you call it. I…” 

Dylan pulled him closer again causing Harry's stomach to flutter and words to cease. “It is. What was the phrase you used?” Harry shuddered as the man leaned in to lick his neck and nibble the taunt skin. “I think,” the man said into his flesh before latching on and sucking harshly. It caused Harry to gasp. Finally letting go slowly as Harry began to squirm Dylan licked his way back up to his face. 

Harry could feel his heart beating in his chest waiting for Dylan to make the next move. Waiting for him to finish his sentence as the man pressed their foreheads together and brought his hands around to hold the sides of Harry's head.

“I think it was,” Dylan purred and gave him a small peck before grinning devilishly. “Suck me bitch.” 

Harry's eyes widened in shock and this weird thrill feeling coursed through him all in the 2 seconds it took for Dylan to place his hand on top of Harry's head and push him forcibly to his knees. Putting him face to face with a very defined bulge. His nervousness must have been evident on his face as the man was finishing to undoing his trousers and slipped them just low enough to comfortably bring out his manhood. He gulped at the sight of the large, hardened pale shaft staring at him that adorned a beautiful soft package below, the sight at which had Harry aching to stroke himself. 

“Don’t worry. It won’t bite.” the man said teased. Harry wanted to glare but instead was capturing watching as Dylan began to stroke himself slowly, stopping below his head and pinching. A drop of precum seemed to glisten in the star light drawing Harry it with temptation. He was going to do it. Something he had only ever recently considered in his imagination. 

The second he dragged his tongue across the soft yet firm tip and gathered the liquid he quickly wondered what Ginny had always complained about. She had always needed to brush her teeth directly after giving him a blow job to remove the sour and bitter taste. But Harry found it stirred something inside him and made him hungry. The slight bitterness that was there had him wanting more.

Dylan hissed as Harry took him fully in his mouth without a second thought and confidently swirled his tongue firmly around him. “That’s it…..oh that's it.” Clearly not thinking Dylan’s hips naturally thrust forward slightly but Harry stilled them just before he gagged by pressing an arm across the man’s pelvis. keeping him firm against the wall. Making up for the lack of his own control the man ran his hands through the Harry’s hair and began gently guiding him forward. Encouraging every flick and twist he provided. 

Harry hollowed his cheeks the way Ginny use to do, fiercely sucking on Dylan’s cock causing the man to moan loudly. Within a minute Harry was growing anxious as Dylan began to force his head more firmly onto his cock….partly because of how much he liked it. Taking advantage of the moment Harry quickly freed his own neglected erection and begin stroking urgently as the other man fucked his face in just as desperate of a manner. 

He could hear above him Dylan trying to maintain his breathing with rough ragged breaths. Although he wasn't sure how he could hear the sounds over his own hard puffs of air managing to escape his nostrils. He felt a series of his own throaty whimpers begin vibrating around the flesh in his mouth.

Squeezing his eyes shut Harry focused on keeping his lips clasped firmly around the man's cock as he felt his own release firing through his body and down his hand with an intensity he had never experienced. All from simply a cock in a mouth and his hand and it left his mind reeling with wonderfilled pleasure. As his orgasm began to wain his eyes shot open when his mouth began to fill with the hot seed of the other man. For some reason it came unexpectedly as he was caught up in the feeling and moment of his own orgasm. 

Dylan pushed his head down forcibly into the soft bush of pubes on his body. So far that Harry grasped his own cock harder in a determined effort not to gag. Allowing himself to be used how the man wanted. The way Dylan gently rolled his hips into Harry’s face made him want to smile but it was impossible between the inability to breath and trying to swallow at the same time.

Seconds later after he felt the cock inside his face quit pulsing and he was removed from the man’s pelvis. Harry then realized that despite his efforts to swallow the man’s release some had still managed to escape the corners of his mouth to slide down his chin. Harry licked his lips contemplating then savouring the taste. Wiping his chin he stilled when he heard Dylan seem to catch his breath and finally speak.

“You were marvelous mate. Get up here,” he said in a still lustful tone.

Harry couldn’t help but smirk at the man's praise and demand. It caused his heart and stomach to flutter. With one quick movement Dylan grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him up to face level, hardly thinking or looking at him before joining their mouths again in a passionate kiss. He was taken aback by the man’s want and clearly unwavered thought of tasting his own fluid in Harry’s mouth.

Then as they slowly parted something in the man’s expression changed. The enjoyment and satisfaction seemed to melt away into awkward, maybe even terrified shock, and Harry frowned. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to faint.” 

Dylan slowly removed his hands from Harry’s person. Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. “I thought it was good? I mean….” Harry ran a hand through his hair. In a suddenly weird situation the old habit was unstoppable. He tugged slightly a on the unruly locks and his face froze while his hand dropped like weight.  _ Unruly locks.  _ He felt his mouth go dry. “Shite….” Harry bit his lips together before taking a deep breath. “I knew I should've bought a second vial. I just didnt expect it to go this good. Especially for a first date.”.

“Date?” the man gave a nervous forced but failed chuckle. “I uh….thanks thanks. I uh….yea I uh….go. I mean I have to go.” 

Harry shot out to grab the man’s wrist as he moved past him quickly. “No don’t go. I’m not just the Boy Who Lived you know.” 

Dylan shook his head fast repeatedly clearly nervous and desperate to leave. “It’s not you….it’s, it’s me.” 

“Oh don’t give me that shite!” Harry said harshly. It always went this way. He could do nothing in life without the weight of his name holding things down.

Dylan yanked his arm away from Harry’s hand in frustration and another emotion Harry couldnt read. Shaking his head again in a way that almost seemed to be reassuring himself of the decision the man stepped further away. “It is! Well….mostly…..anyways. I…. Merlin’s beard I can’t.” he said in a tight controlled voice. 

“But….” Harry started. Then he huffed as the man vanished into the air leaving his words hanging within him.

**XXXXXXXXX**

The previous night had been long and Harry groaned as his laptop dinged yet again. The chat had been quiet so far but he had spent a large part of it outside in his garden to occupy his mind. But suddenly as the day had began to wane the muggle contraption wouldn’t shut up with alerts, and every one made him wonder what the chat would be like now that Dylan knew who he was. Especially since he clearly wanted nothing to do with him. Harry was highly considering muting it for a while because he just couldn’t seem to make himself leave. 

After getting ran away from in an alleyway after his first male sexual encounter Harry had felt dirty and apparated straight home for a long shower to contemplate his life. The situation had hurt but for some reason it hurt as he thought. Or maybe he just wasn't surprised. Perhaps the real hurt was that they genuinely seemed to have a connection but the second his scar was seen, his face was recognized, it all blew out like a candle in the wind. He hadn't even bothered messaging Dylan knowing full and well the man wouldn't respond. His life was what is was and it was why he didn’t even bother going out unless he needed to or seriously wanted to. It was another reason he was enjoying the muggle connection.

Sighing he closed his quidditch magazine and went to sit down at his desk deciding he should see what all the sudden conversation was about. With or without Dylan the other members managed to make him smile.

** _-Dirty Snakes Chat-_ **

**Dirty Locket: ** Where have you all been all day? I'm bored and need some entertainment here!

**Snarry’s Head Bitch:** Sup?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** How? 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** LMAO Im laughing so hard right now. That should be entertaining.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Seriously LOL I'm dying here.

**Dirty Locket:** Idk. Yall have just been quiet today and Ive missed yall.

**Snarry’s Head Bitch:** o_O

**Ultimate Undesirable** : awww missed us? Really? 

**Dirty Locket:** Yep. Yall are my daily quota of crazy. 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -honored gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** you miss ME?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -Snape Always gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -awww gif-

**Dirty Locket:** Where’s Pervy and what’s his face?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** the new guy?

**Pervy Pureblood: ** What do you filthy hookers want?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** rawr

**Ultimate Undesirable:** pissy pants

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** He’s probably scared to come back

**Dirty Locket:** hey we’re not filthy hookers in this situation. We’re the madams that enjoy whoring you out. Making you the hooker.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** psh. Hookers get paid.

**Demiguise Eyes:** If I had a choice I'd definitely be the hooker.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** OMG I love that idea! Demiguise Eyes giving your eyes what they need. Advertising line Lol 

**Dirty Locket:** okay fine. Eyes and pervy are our hookers.

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -keep talking gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** What do you charge demi?

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** we are dying to know more! 

**Dirty Locket: ** -well we’re waiting gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** I’m currently on whoring hiatus.

**Demiguise Eyes:** Madam’s choose the prices, Im just here to do the customers.

**Dirty Locket:** Aww what happened Pervy?

**Dirty Locket:** I mean you’re good looking Eyes. I feel like you’d be a high class hooker.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Nothing. I can get enough smut here. Especially if Demi is going to start whoring about and sharing with us. 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -wiggling body gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave** : -homeboy is gonna like get it gif-

**Demiguise Eyes** : Damnit I was looking for that gif!

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Muahahaha not as quick as me. Good whoring skill. Holding out leaves them wanting more.

**Pervy Pureblood:** why do you always know all of this?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Cause Im as much a perv as you.

**Dirty Locket:** we just get way to close. That’s what happens when you’re a group of pervs.

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** just have to stay emotionally unavailable while whoring.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Best group of pervs Id say lol I live through the chat

**Pervy Pureblood:** #truth

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** Agreed twin

**Dirty Locket:** Amen to that

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Likewise!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** seriously though has anyone seen the The Chosen Heir here today? Did we frighten him?

**Dirty Locket: ** Pervy you seemed cool with the new guy. Have you heard from him? Is he okay? Awful lively to suddenly go mute.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** No. Probably just another flake that will leave.

**The Chosen Heir: ** No I’m here.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Speak of the devil!

**Dirty Locket: ** yay! We didnt scare him off!

**Ultimate Undesirable:** wait whats a good HP term to use for devil?

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -look who’s here gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** i’m sure we can think of something

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Voldermort?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Umbitch?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** LMAO okay I love umbitch. It flows good. Speak of the umbitch! 

**Dirty Locket:** If Merlin is jesus maybe Morgan Le Fae is the devil.

**The Chosen Heir: ** Morgan Le Fae?

**Dirty Locket:** She was the witch who went up against Merlin in Arthurian legend.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Wayyyy to long a name. Besides Merlin represents God.

**Dirty Locket:** true

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** well damn she is beautiful then!

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -Helena Carter as morgan le fae pic-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** is that Helena?

**Dirty Locket: ** I’ll agree to that

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Of course it is. Who else would it be? 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -thats true gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** That woman is brilliant!

**Pervy Pureblood:** she was pretty brilliant at playing Bellatrix. Attitude on spot.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Agreed. Psychotic LOL 

**Dirty Locket:** Absolutely psychotic. But a gorgeous psychotic. 

**Demiguise Eyes** : Id let her walk all over me. But only her.

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Only her? Really?

**Bellas Sex Slave: ** Hey she’s mine!

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Back off!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler; ** Psychotic is a good look for women lol

**Pervy Pureblood:** Yea I doubt that lol

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Oh yea…..stepping on bellas territory demi….dangerous game

**Dirty Locket: ** We know Bella. Just admiring the scenery. Hands off lol promise

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -catch me outside gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** ^^ what I see in Bella’s head right now

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Good!

**Pervy Pureblood: ** she is beautiful. To bad she plays bellatrix.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** -oops gif-

**Dirty Locket:** I dont think anyone else could have played her.

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** What in the bloody hell is that suppose to mean???

**Pervy Pureblood:** -spongebob grin gif-

**Dirty Locket:** Fuck. Run pervy!!

**Pervy Pureblood:** -Louise muahaha gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Someone is feeling dangerous!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Wait where did the heir and eyes go?

**Dirty Locket:** Welp it was nice knowing you pervy.

**Bella’s Sex Slave: ** Dont make me pull out shit that’ll hurt you!

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** Are you just going to be a lurker Heir?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** you were awful chatty yesterday. 

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -odd looking helena gif-

**The Chosen Heir:** No I’m fine.

**Dirty Locket:** Something feels off with you. You seem to be an upbeat person.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** That translates to not fine.

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Yeah, hence the gif!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler** : Heir you all good?

**The Chosen Heir:** seriously it’s nothing

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -you sit on a throne of lies gif-

**Dirty Locket:** Oh come on this is a safe place. You can tell us. 

**Demiguise Eyes** : -it is known gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Let it out, it’s the whole meaning of this chat!

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** We can smell bullshit from miles away. Cmon.

**Dirty Locket:** As much shit as we talk we really do care.

**The Chosen Heir: ** Just had a bad night last night. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** well what happened?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Elaborate.

**Dirty Locket:** Couldn’t sleep? Nightmares? Run out of chocolate? That usually spoils Ultimates mood.

**The Chosen Heir:** LOl no Im familiar with nightmares lol

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Dude spill already.

**The Chosen Heir:** Nosey bunch aren’t you.

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Yea cmon we like a good tease but not with serious stuff.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** We arent nosey…...not really…..maybe a lil…..nevermind.

**Dirty Locket:** We’re nosey because we care.

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Not nosey just wanting to help.

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Hellooooo Slytherin peeps here.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** this is just our vent space. Family or well idk wtf we are.

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler: ** Nah we nosey. We want to know everything always. Spill the beans mate.

**Dirty Locket:** : Us snakes stick together. You should know that.

**The Chosen Heir** : I think what you lost are is dirty snakes LOL 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler** : -kissy face emoji’s-

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** That we are.

**The Chosen Heir:** fine. I met someone last night and it didnt end well.

**Dirty Locket:** Ah. Been there done that.

**Bella’s Sex Slave** : Ah okay. 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** What was so bad?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** well I’m not sure I have any advice. Pervy is usually best at these situations. 

**Pervy Pureblood:** probably for the best in those cases.

**The Chosen Heir** : dont see how. Things were going great. 

**The Chosen Heir:** bloody brilliant actually.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** I’m confused then. What happened to change it.

**Dirty Locket: ** The what happened? Did they catfish you or something?

**The Chosen Heir: ** ...ummm

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** do a 180 on you? 

**The Chosen Heir:** what the hell is catfishing? 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Do you know nothing?

**Pervy Pureblood:** Daft as ever.

**Dirty Locket:** how have you not heard of catfishing?

**Dirty Locket:** do you live under a rock?

**The Chosen Heir** : ummm

**Ultimate Undesirable:** lmao it is all he can answer

**The Chosen Heir:** maybe? A little? Lol

**The Chosen Heir:** I dont go out much or really socialize

**Dirty Locket** : Okay when you catfish you use someone else’s images to lure someone you don’t think you could get otherwise. 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler** : I need more detail to see how things went down.

**The Chosen Heir** : Oh uh…..I dont know if it really counts as that? Maybe? Basically he thought I was probably someone else I guess. And when he found out he bailed.

**The Chosen Heir:** so does that mean I did the catfishing?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** So YOU catfished? LOL 

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -ohhhhh gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Interesting

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Well did you try getting ahold of him to explain?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** I mean why?

**The Chosen Heir:** well I knew it was probably best. In case we didnt get along and all in person.

**Dirty Locket: ** oh no love

**The Chosen Heir: ** no I know he wants to talk

**Ultimate Undesirable** : Relationships. Ugh.

**Bella’s Sex Slave** : Damn, Im sorry.

**Dirty Locket:** if he hasnt blocked you, you need to apologize. Then let him decide if he wants a second chance.

**Pervy Pureblood** : it wasnt even a relationship. It was one night.

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler** : Even if he doesnt you’ll live with what if’s if you dont

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler** : trust me. That sticks with you forever and it hurts so much

**The Chosen Heir** : you have no idea how quickly he bailed even after…

**Dirty Locket:** And listen, if it is someone worth knowing don’t hide yourself. Ever!

**Ultimate Undesirable:** After?? -eyes emoji-

**Dirty Locket: ** Even after what?

**Bella’s Sex Slave: ** yeah what happened?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** Tell us what you were thinking when this whole thing started and we can help you talk to him.

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** wait what?

**The Chosen Heir:** I didnt know if he was worth knowing. I dont know how to explain. Just felt like something was there so we met. 

**The Chosen Heir: ** and I may have kind of…..sucked him off.

**The Chosen Heir: ** -cat hides in couch cushions gif-

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** kind of??

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -ohhhhhh gif-

**Newts Naughty Niffler:** And is he worth knowing?

**Dirty Locket:** Wait how did he not realize who you actually were if you gave him a blow job?

**The Chosen Heir:** -awkward umm gif-

**The Chosen Heir:** it was dark? Went to a club. Low light and all.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Mkayyyy. But still doesnt answer the kind of. If he was nearly finished of course he ran off. I mean gotta finish the job or blue balls right?

**Dirty Locket:** is he Harry level of observant then? Because even in low light you get a general idea of a person’s face.

**The Chosen Heir** : oh no. He definitely finished. -smirk emoji-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -youre naughty arent you gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** I didnt expect this from you lol I thought you’d never been with a guy?

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** -well done gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** there ya go! -wink emoji-

**Dirty Locket:** Well you get points for that at least.

**The Chosen Heir:** he was captivating. It was just there. One thing lead to another.

**Dirty Locket: ** And then you were sucking him off in a club bathroom or alley. Been there done that.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Havent we all? LOL 

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** well if he did finish then you made him hella happy! Just give him some time to think about what happened.

**Dirty Locket:** Pervy what’s your take? You’re a dude. 

** _-Private Messages- _ **

**Dylan Blamore: ** you stupid git shut the fuck up in the chat! 

**Evan James:** What am I not allowed to talk? They keep asking me questions.

**Dylan Blamore:** Doesnt mean you have to answer! what you need to do is just leave. You’re a stupid Gryffindor and shouldn’t even be here in the first place! This is a place for Slytherins.

**Evan James** : I was almost put in Slytherin remember?

**Dylan Blamore** : but you weren't. You are only sorted into one house. That is your house.

**Evan James** : well maybe I think Slytherins can be fun once you get to know them?

**Dylan Blamore:** that’s just grand. Glad to finally change your house views. but they also get to know you. Then you know what happens? They pick up on things. See how quickly they could tell something is off. I dont think I can be myself in there with you around. And then they will figure it out.

**Evan James** : You can act however you want to act. Youre the one with the problem. It is not like they will know it is us anyways.

**Dylan Blamore:** you dont understand how this chat works. We know each other and can sense things. This world may be virtual but the way people word things these muggles are very observant. But then again Slytherins in general are. Not that you would know anything about that!

**-** ** _Dirty Snakes Chat-_ **

**Pervy Pureblood:** a friggin topic change.

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Let’s celebrate Daniel’s birthday. His rap videos always pump me up.

**Pervy Pureblood:** wait nevermind. Forget Daniel.

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** wow that was fast!

**Dirty Locket:** You never say forget Daniel. Okay what’s going on?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -link to Daniel rapping Eminem-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** to late! Real slim shady please stand up! 

**Pervy Pureblood:** is this a therapy session to night or something?

**Dirty Locket:** yes it is

**Dirty Locket: ** I’ve got to get case study some how.

**Pervy Pureblood:** \- wrong wrong wrong gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave: ** -Daniels alphabet aerobics gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** go find some puffs. They always want to whine and talk about feelings crap.

**Bella’s Sex Slave** : enjoy the gif!

**Dirty Locket:** I dont care about puffs. I care about you.

**Pervy Pureblood:** Merlins fuck how did you find that gif??

**Ultimate Undesirable:** woo!! I love it Bella!!

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** \- magic gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Score for you!

**Ultimate Undesirable:** shit I found an awesome gif earlier

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** Come on it’s me! I find great shit to share!

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -I tried and therefore no one should criticize me (daniel radcliffe) gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** That one LOL 

**Dirty Locket:** It can’t be that bad Pervy. Unless….

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -Daniel gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** Imm deliberately ignoring you for record.

**Pervy Pureblood:** you all are just asses tonight

**Ultimate Undesirable:** dude it’s dan’s birthday! We gotta celebrate!

**Pervy Pureblood:** me and you are the only ones that even find him attractive. You all are choosing to torture me.

**Dirty Locket:** Pervy dont make me get on a plane and pry it out of you. You know I’ll do it.

**Pervy Pureblood:** -bring it gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** I’m ready. Never happening.

**Ultimate Undesirable:** i wanna see that show down!

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -yea get em watching gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** so are you going to be our new lurker Heir? Hey Demi will have a solid background friend now!

**Dirty Locket; ** Okays so tell me if Im right. You and Heir basically wont talk in the chat at the same time. You go into lurker mode when he comes in and Heir goes into lurker mode when you come in. You are both in Great Britain and you 2 had some chemistry. Now I could be wrong but that’s awful coincidental both of you are in bad moods at the same time.

**Pervy Pureblood:** Who the fuck said we had chemistry?

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -seriously gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** I havent even been in on this convo!

**Pervy Pureblood:** who said Im in a bad mood?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** Oh please….

**Dirty Locket:** -seriously gif-

**Dirty Locket:** yea but the last convo we had with you 2 you were almost as all over each other as Newt and Manny. We have had people in the chats meet up before your time. You know we plot about holding parties all the time

**Bella’s Sex Slave** : a bitch can be blind as fuck and still see that shit is off!

**Pervy Pureblood: ** Manny is just a horny fucker. Where has he been anyways?

**Ultimate Undesirable:** I detect subtle topic change.

**Dirty Locket:** and he’s not getting away from me this easy!

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** talk about protego!

**Pervy Pureblood:** -chicken glare-

**Dirty Locket:** dont glare at me!

**Pervy Pureblood:** Can I not just have a bad day? Not like they are uncommon with me.

**Dirty Locket: ** Yea but usually you spill willingly. Im thinking he doth protest a little to much.

**Pervy Pureblood:** -stitch frustration gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** So daniels birthday then? How old is he now?

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** this is fun.

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -sarcasm gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** 30

**Ultimate Undesirable: ** not that Im obsessive enough to know

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -okay right sarcasm gif-

**Pervy Pureblood:** you’re the queen of obsession

**Ultimate Undesirable:** -thank you gif-

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** So got anything to say about all this Heir? 

**Newt’s Naughty Niffler:** -do ya do ya Dory gif-

**The Chosen Heir:** -nah gif-

**The Chosen Heir:** Im good hanging with Demi

**Pervy Pureblood:** That’s it Im done

**Pervy Pureblood:** -peace out gif-

**Bella’s Sex Slave:** -taken aback okay then gif-

**Ultimate Undesirable:** extra moody as fuck

**-** ** _Private Messages -_ **

**Dylan Blamore: ** Now see what’s you’ve fucking done? I told you!

**Evan James:** what are you talking about? I didnt really say anything else. You are the one that is being all moody.

**Dylan Blamore:** Leave. 

**Evan James:** No. They seem nice and Ive been having more fun than I have in years. It's interesting talking about our world like this. It's not like we have to talk to each other…...although I wish you would talk to me.

**Dylan Blamore** . It won’t work Potter. It was a good time and you give brilliant head but just trust me will you? Leave it alone and get your gryffindork arse out of here.

**Evan James:** why does it matter who I am? You know how many letters I get asking for dates?

**Dylan Blamore:** yes yes we know. Mr. Famous Harry Potter wizarding celebrity. 

**Evan James:** didnt you have fun or feeling anything?

**Dylan Blamore** : -sigh gif- 

**Dylan Blamore:** stubborn arse. Of course I did. 

**Evan James:** then why does it matter who we are? 

**Dylan Blamore:** If I tell you who I am will it prove to you why. 

**Evan James:** Mate it can’t be that bad. I like you. That’s ALL that matters to me. 

**Dylan Blamore:** You’re wrong.

**Evan James: ** try me

**Dylan Blamore:** I’m Draco Malfoy.

**Evan James:** LOL that’s complete bullshite. Malfoy on the muggle internet? Please.

**Evan James:** -rofl gif-

**Dylan Blamore:** really Potter? How about detention 4th year with Snape? Ever manage to count all those porcupine quills? What was the term he used? Asinine am I right?

**Dylan Blamore: ** -judge judy tick tock gif-

**Dylan Blamore: ** that's what I thought. 

  
**A/N: ** The end? Not the end? -shrug- I dont know. I will consult the almighty chat LOL but they said we are just gonna roll with it. Reviews are usually a motivator in case you didnt know. 


End file.
